Confession: I was a bad friend

Confession: I was a bad friend

I can honestly say that I haven’t always been the best friend I could be. I have always, prior to Jesus, felt that friends are dispensable. This is not something I am happy to admit. I just never really thought much about other peoples feelings and I went through friends like cheap high heels. As an adult, I found friendships easy but I think most people I befriended approached the relationship in a similar manner. I never really knew what it meant to be a good friend, much less how to choose one.

First of all, it is important to note that our inner attitudes affect how we treat other people. For much of my life, I was self serving and rebellious. If I had such a bad attitude in my approach to life, you can imagine the attitude I had in my approach to people. Growing up I did’nt know Jesus, and I knew very little about God. The problem is that I did not do well with rules, infact, I was taught that rules were meant to be broken. So, I had terrible inner attitudes towards life, which led to wrong thoughts, words, and eventually actions. Having these negative inner attitudes lead me to gravitate towards people with similar attitudes. God would eventually break me of this frame of mind but I chose the hard way in many lessons in life.

Having the Holy Spirit lead my life has helped me to better see my self and see the issues that needed to be resolved. I have been able to change my inner attitudes and get external results. Realizing I have rebellious tendencies was easy, I was proud of that fact; But having to change the way I viewed my tendencies and realize they are actually working against me was much harder. I have come along way, lol, and I would say that obviously I am a better friend now than I was. I am super loyal and I will always be there for my friends! I don’t look at people as dispensable any more and I have learned to (gulp) swallow my pride and say, “I’m sorry”.

Now, many of the friendships I tossed out like last weeks trash were exactly that, trash friendships with people who had the same self serving attitudes I did. But there were a few that weren’t, I cringe thinking about them to this day. Not all of my friendships ended terribly, I have some wonderful friends who have been in my life for years. We have been able to grow together and separately but still remain close friends and I am truly grateful for these ladies! We have stood by each other through many storms, we have cheered each other on and we have had to sometimes offer each other some tough love and all this has done was make our friendships stronger. Still, some friendships I cherished and nurtured fizzled out and that is OK, that happens with friends sometimes. We are always growing and changing and sometimes we outgrow people or we grow separately in different directions and lose touch.

I try to learn something from each season and from anyone who may enter or leave my life. I am not resentful of anyone and the fact that I am able to say that is a true testament to Jesus and the work he has done in my heart.

Some are old, some are new, all are loved.


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